I forget sometimes I’m from the south. No. I don’t. That was a lie. Sometimes I do that…say something that isn’t true, and I have no idea why I said it in the first place, but here, there it is. In the grand scheme of it all (what does that mean?!) I guess I wasted more time explaining the absurdity of it than just letting you all think that I actually did forget I was from the south.
I digress.
Back to that train of thought I almost missed. Thomas and I are finally unpacking. Oh sure, you say, you only moved a couple of months ago, what’s the big deal? The big deal is that we haven’t unpacked since we arrived in NY two years ago. What you may think next is, why on earth would they carry around stuff they don’t even need to unpack if it’s unnecessary enough to leave in a box? I have several explainations, but the only one that makes sense is, nothing is really necessary in the city aside from a bed (somewhat optional), clothes and toiletries (which you can pick up in a store).
Thomas taught me that lesson. I wish I could have left more things at home, but therein lies the problem…what home? I’m not really sure. I’ll refer to one of my favorite movie quotes of all time:
“You’ll see one day when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it’s gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It’s like you feel homesick for a place that doesn’t even exist. Maybe it’s like this rite of passage, you know. You won’t ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it’s like a cycle or something. I don’t know, but I miss the idea of it, you know. Maybe that’s all family really is. A group of people that miss the same imaginary place.”
When I first heard this, I burst into tears. I had to pause the movie to reflect on it further. He had put into words something I have always struggled to understand. Zach Braff is a genius. I love him deeply.
So, onto the point of this post. I found tapes. Of my youth (ugh. I hate saying that. I’m Young. Thomas is Young. We’re all Young. Why do we still feel old?)
We watched as many as we could before falling asleep on the couch. I was reminded of my spirit, but moreover, I was reminded of my HORRENDOUS accent! That’s right. Yours truly had one god-awful southern accent. Thomas couldn’t stop laughing at me and repeating choice phrases like, “Awww thanks gahhhyyysss!” and other horribly humiliating things I won’t repeat here.
Aside from realizing how spectacular my auditory memory must be in order to abolish my accent for a new dialect, I remembered how much fun I used to have. Regardless of all the crap that was going on in my life when I was 16, I was happy. I was the absolute essence of me. I think it’s part of that childhood innocence we struggle to remember was real at one point. I miss it.
I’m working on making that a new priority. Let’s hope it’s outwardly noticeable.
What does this have to do with a storm? Well…unless you’ve been living under a rock, New York is about to get hit with some snow… Woo hoo!